fail2ban. Yes some plugins.
one thing i noticed is php-fpm CPU goes through the roof on even a page refresh when in wordpress.
here are some logs. I have done some increases but didn't help. Like i said i have made no changes and installedl ubuntu update (not sure which one) and everything slow now. I am getting host not available load can be 100% with memory and cpu low. then all of a sudden all go to 100%
pm.start_servers, or pm.min/max_spare_servers), spawning 8 children, there are 0 idle, and 16 total children
[27-Nov-2022 20:30:15] WARNING: [pool www] seems busy (you may need to increase pm.start_servers, or pm.min/max_spare_servers), spawning 16 children, there are 0 idle, and 21 total children
[27-Nov-2022 20:30:16] WARNING: [pool www] seems busy (you may need to increase pm.start_servers, or pm.min/max_spare_servers), spawning 32 children, there are 0 idle, and 26 total children
[27-Nov-2022 20:30:17] WARNING: [pool www] seems busy (you may need to increase pm.start_servers, or pm.min/max_spare_servers), spawning 32 children, there are 0 idle, and 31 total children
[27-Nov-2022 20:30:18] WARNING: [pool www] seems busy (you may need to increase pm.start_servers, or pm.min/max_spare_servers), spawning 32 children, there are 0 idle, and 36 total children
[27-Nov-2022 20:30:19] WARNING: [pool www] seems busy (you may need to increase pm.start_servers, or pm.min/max_spare_servers), spawning 32 children, there are 0 idle, and 41 total children
[27-Nov-2022 20:30:20] WARNING: [pool www] seems busy (you may need to increase pm.start_servers, or pm.min/max_spare_servers), spawning 32 children, there are 0 idle, and 46 total children
[27-Nov-2022 20:30:21] WARNING: [pool www] server reached pm.max_children setting (50), consider raising it